Sunday, May 18, 2008

I feel like creating something.

I’m 45 with no children and no “mark” left on the world to show I was here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so self absorbed that I think the world would be a better place if I were signified by some monument to me. I would like to pay homage to nature herself. (Just how is a mystery to me at this point)

I am a lefty, a Cancer, and a bit dyslexic from time to time. You could say that I have always had artistic tendencies. To create something beautiful is the one endeavor that has long begged for attention that I continually suffocate. I do get brief satisfaction from decorating and such. Yet I still feel a deep cavernous void in my soul. No actually that’s not it at all. It’s not a void as much as a hunger. Something not fulfilled. Not being fed and continually churning away in my subconscious.

I realize it sounds a bit dramatic, right? Well what’s more dramatic than suffocating your passion? Hahahaah.
Seriously, I am allowing myself to spend more time thinking about what path of creativity is right for me. Things that interest me are metal sculpture, watercolors, abstract paintings, and even really wild painted furniture.

The perfectly decorated house for me would be comfortable, livable, unexpected, cheerful, light, and organic. When we built our house I dashed out and bought all the “popular for the moment” canned furniture. You know the “Old World” ball and claw feet, Ivory cushions, and safe matchy matchy crappola. Oh we did shop at good stores but if I had it to do over her are a few changes I would make.

1. I would never have invested in a everyday pottery off the shelf Mikasa dinnerware. I would have gone to Antique malls and purchased a vintage set of china to use every day. What a great feeling it is to eat from amazingly beautiful dishes. (I boxed the Mikasa 2 weeks ago and replaced it with china)

2. I would NEVER have bought the living room “set” of matching tables. I again would hit the resale shops and thrift stores for interesting pieces that I could paint and recreate into something I love.

3. Same thing for the sofa. How cool would it be to find an old down filled expensive sofa that I could have recovered in a fabulous fabric and keep forever?

4. I did okay in the bedroom. I found a wrought iron bed and some really cool nightstands (they match but sometimes it’s ok by me). My floors are slate and I bought a gorgeous red wool hand knotted rug at a thrift store! The rug is huge and is under the bed and sticks out 2 feet on both sides. How perfect! I would buy hand made quilts and top of the line sheets for a soft comfy bed instead of the matched bedroom predictable stuff I did invest way too much money in.

These are the thoughts that curse my brain when I try to go to sleep at night. It’s time I start acting on some of them before they drive me crazy!



Matt said...

I think this is a great idea. In fact, you can start with my house when I move (If I ever get around to it). By the way, I like your house, I think you did a great job decorating.

tashabud said...

Arduous, I left you a message on your first posting. I'm not sure if you check people's comments on your older postings, that's why I'm mentioning it here. I hope that's a goat and not something else. Otherwise, I'm truly the nincompoop here, eh?

You should pursue all that are bugging you, or else they'll just keep knawing at you to no end. Post the finish products for us to enjoy. With your artistic abilities, I'm sure everything will be awesome. Enjoy redecorating.

tashabud said...

Oh, thanks for the link. I'll do the same.

Arduous Nincompoop said...

Matt... I am in! And thank you for the compliment on decorating our house. I liked it at the time. It's all I knew. I don't spend enough time contemplating things like you do. I dive in and regret later! ha

Tashabud~ Yes , it's one of my goats. We recently had to put him to sleep so I decided to keep his memory close.. You're welcome about the link. You don't have to link to mine because I am not a serious blogger I'm more of a slogger. (sloth)... hehehehehehe
But I do think you site is cute so I put it on mine!


redchair said...

Hi Arduous,
Thanks for visiting my blog. Thought I’d repay you. I’ve been an artist all my life. Education-Bachelors in Fine Art and my life-long career. (I don’t think I’d know how to do anything else.) And I’ve probably hit about $100k in redecorating expenditures in (5yrs). So we have much in common.

But what I know of being an artist is- art extends into every facet of our lives. We can’t turn it off. To the left brainers what they look as a necessary chore, we perceive as a creative project or outlet. It is all art to us.

Warning- melodramatic explosion- your legacy doesn’t come in the form of any painting, sculpture or even children. It is defined and remembered by who you are: your kindness, comfort, joy and even the laughter you bring into other peoples lives.

I have a simple little red chair painting that I call - ‘Aware’. You can see it on website ( A lot of people have written me about it. They tell me that ‘aware’ means we’re in a conscious state, cognitive, alive, focused etc and so on, with lengthy stories attached. I label it simply, “ People who matter are those that are aware other people do too.”

Melodrama over and out. Come visit me again.
Big smiles all day!.

Arduous Nincompoop said...

Hey Vikki!

I visited your gallery again. Ya know I love the poems you post at the bottom of the paintings too!

So far my favorite is the Chair in "fantasy" that is made out of vines and sunflowers. That's me to a tee. I love looking out my office window to the pasture and pond. My escape!

I will go read the stories attached to the "Aware" chair.
You sound a LOT like my sister. She is not artistic but a thinker delux. It's funny that you remind me of advice I gave someone a long time ago.

He told me he didn't feel like he mattered on this earth because he wasn't somebody "important". I told him that the measurement of the man he is is how he treats others, constantly putting everyones needs above his own, loyal to a fault, and would take a secret you shared to his grave.

I told him when people stand at a grave of a friend, they don't say what great business sense people have, they talk about the humanity and friendship they had.

I like the way you think! Are you a lefty too?